Rotting Anemone
by Kyunlei
Summary: It's not like she wanted to be reincarnated into a world that supposedly had man-eating monsters. What she should have been able to take for granted just became something a lot more unattainable. [SI-OC]
1. Prologue

I don't own Tokyo Ghoul.

* * *

 **Prologue**

* * *

…

A child was born on 2nd January.

A healthy baby girl.

Kisaragi Ryou frowned slightly as he took his newborn daughter into his arms.

A son would have been better.

Ryou was a ghoul investigator, and he needed a strong successor and heir. But looking at his wife, Honoka, he thought that maybe with the right training, even his child being a female could become a fine ghoul investigator. After all, this was his child who carried the blood of the Kisaragi family within her, and no Kisaragi would choose any other path than to become an investigator as a career. It was their _duty_. There would be no exception.

Her mother would surely help support the decision as they were both dedicated to their shared goal—the eradication of the beasts that had infiltrated their society; the ones that wore the disguise of humans: _ghouls_. And that was how they had met: through their profession as both of them worked for CCG. It hadn't quite been love at first sight, but the fact that they understood each other's loss was enough for them to be together.

They both shared the same grief of having lost loved ones to ghouls, and they both shared the same burning hatred towards them. It wasn't hard for them to make the decision of settling together and then having a strong enough relationship for them to marry.

Honoka wasn't a ghoul investigator though. She never did manage to qualify for it as she was deemed unsuitable for that type of work. She just wasn't strong enough; ghouls would have eaten her in very little time if she were to be in combat with them. So the only other option she could have taken was to become a bureau investigator, allowing her to still contribute—no matter how small—on getting rid of those monsters.

And now, they had a new addition to the family—a daughter who would follow her parents' footsteps. A son would have been ideal, but he supposed, it would be all right. She would most likely be raised up as a boy.

After all, a Kisaragi could not be weak.

* * *

 _I hate being left alone._

 _._

 _._

"Mama? Papa? Where are you going?" a young child asked softly, stepping out into the hallway.

It was during the middle of the night.

"We've been called in for work," her father answered.

At the time, she only knew that their job had something to do with killing some monsters known as 'ghouls', but she hadn't paid much attention to it other than the constant absence of her parents in her life and that continuous, crushing feeling of being isolated in an empty house all by herself whenever they left for work. She hardly ever saw them on some days, and it was always for her to come home to see a meal wrapped up in cling film and a note besides it.

She could hardly blame them for being almost obsessed with their work because she knew they had lost important people to ghouls after all. But sometimes, they spent so much time doing their work and so little time with her, that she couldn't help but think: what was the point of even having a child if they were just going to neglect them?

She had once told them that she wanted them to stay at home for a day—for _her_. Just for once. And her parents had looked at her sternly and said:

"One day, you'll be continuing this line of work too. You'll be responsible for clearing out those beasts that have infected out society, and you must understand that it's important for us to have to do our work for that to happen. This is for everyone's future. You're a big girl now. Learn to be mature and responsible."

She was six at the time.

* * *

 _If… there was one thing in this world that you could have within your grasp,_

 _What would it be?_

 _._

 _._

 _I think I would want…_

 _._

 _._

 _._

"Are you nervous?"

A curious look directed towards her parent.

"About what?"

"Going to school today. After all, it's going to be your first day in this new school."

Then an expression showing the loss of interest.

"Not really," she answered offhandedly.

Dismissing the subject, the child pushed back her chair and made way to grab onto her school bag, slowly walking out the front door towards the car. Her mother's eyes followed her movements before the adult sighed and took steps to lock the front door and strode towards the car also.

On the way to her new school, the girl faced the window closest to her left as the scenery passed by. Recently, her parents had moved to the twentieth ward for reasons like the Branch Office being stationed there and how it would be more convenient for her mum, who worked there, as it would be closer. The reasons were always related to their job.

Not that she cared.

She had been in her previous elementary school for a year or so, and she hadn't made a single friend or even tried to make any bonds.

(To them, she was an abnormality, a freak, an outsider who observed from a distance—someone who was a natural loner.)

(Being a freak was a death sentence in the Kingdom of Children for children could be cruel if they wanted to.)

Day after day, it was waking up to go to school then walking home, only to be trained (that was if her parents were even home to train her), eat dinner, train some more, followed by going to bed. And the next day would just be a repeat of the previous one.

(Really, she didn't— _couldn't_ bring herself to care anymore.)

* * *

"Go Kimiko! Hurry to the goal and score!"

Kimiko. That was her name. Its meaning was 'child without equal'. Her parents had given her that name in the hopes that she would surpass all of her previous predecessors. Her father's side of the family were all ghoul investigators. Whether they were male or female, all of them, without exception, became ghoul investigators. That was their line of profession.

(Everything was decided for them at birth.)

Along with the training her parents had put her through, she excelled in most physical activities. She had even beat—some literally with violence and some not—the boys in her class during the physical education lessons. She was faster, stronger and more agile on her feet with reflexes that were superior to most children her age. They were all things she could perform like an instinct.

 _But it was to be expected_ , her father would always say. She did carry the blood of her father's family—the Kisaragi family. Everyone there had superior abilities in terms of their physique. There was a rumour that their predecessors had fed on the flesh and blood of countless ghouls to gain the strength that they had today.

(And wouldn't that just be ironic?)

Her strength and improvements in combat were increasing, day by day, and they had placed a high amount of expectation on her.

A 'child without equal' indeed…

.

.

.

 _Do you know how lonely that is?_

.

.

.

Perhaps that was why she had gotten into fights so much. She wanted to prove her parents wrong – someone wrong. She didn't want to be the one with the expectations of succeeding the Kisaragi family and their duties. She didn't want to be the abnormally strong child – _freak_ – who would only continue to grow stronger and eventually become a ghoul investigator. She didn't want someone to have her whole life _dictated_.

That's why she rebelled. She refused. She disobeyed. It got to the point that she was almost always arguing with them.

(She would _not_ let them decide her future.)

But no one her age was ever able to better her—no human that was. She wasn't allowed out late, and she wasn't quite eager on finding ghouls to fight with even if she had to sneak out in the middle of the night. She admitted that she was arrogant but not to the point she was blinded by it entirely. And thus her days of being trained by her parents continued.

Life became bland.

.

.

.

Until she met them—people who she forged her first bonds with.

* * *

"Koraaa!" she screamed, running up to a group of boys crowding around a much smaller one who had their book clutched tightly to their chest. She had seen them pushing and shoving the poor boy, and it was obviously a case of bullying.

 _Keh, what narrow-minded jerks_ , she thought. This was why she hated associating with kids most of the time.

"Do you like picking on the weak?" she asked, glaring at them. It was ingrained into her by her family that one should never bully those who were less strong and instead should be protected. That was why they served as ghoul investigators. To serve the society and to protect the weak that were preyed on by those 'repulsive ghouls'… even if it meant forsaking their own child.

.

.

 _It probably wasn't hate but more rather the fear of being alone._

.

 _But those bearing the name of Kisaragi did not fear._

 _._

 _._

 _Weakness was not allowed._

 _._

 _._

 _._

She fought with the group of bullies and obviously won. But she wasn't left unscathed either—she supposed she'd be getting another lecture from her parents again and sighed at the thought.

Slowly, as to not frighten him, she turned towards the boy.

"Oi, are you all right?"

He flinched as she asked him in a blunt tone.

(She wasn't that scary was she…?)

"Eh, umm, yeah. T-thank you for helping me," he whispered.

He was shorter than her by a good couple of inches with large, grey doe-like eyes and raven-black hair.

She tilted her head.

"Kawaii..." she muttered. He resembled one of those cute animals that she always had an inclination to protect.

"E-eh?"

For some reason after that, they started to stick together. She gave warnings to those who tried to bully him because of reasons being as petty as always seeing him reading books and being a bookwork. Said warnings were usually in the form of… well, violence.

Then, one day, that loud, annoying orange-head transferred to their school, and their small friendship group of two gained an extra person.

She was most definitely _not_ jealous of having to share her… only friend with him.

(Hesitantly, she called the dark haired boy her friend. She wasn't quite sure if he was one. Although… it would be nice if he was, she supposed.)

Well, she didn't hate the noisy, strawberry-blonde haired kid, but he could sometimes be too exuberant for her liking.

(Not to forget to mention, he was a snotty brat. Literally.)

She looked up towards the blue sky, speckled with clouds and spotted a few stray birds circling the free open space. And she smiled.

(She could deal with this.)

.

.

.

Life wasn't so bland with these guys around.

* * *

...

* * *

 **A/N:**

Another re-upload from my old account. Sorry xD There's another chapter after this as well.

I've already got a fresh chapter about 50% typed up though so I should have that out soon...


	2. Chapter 1

I don't own Tokyo Ghoul.

* * *

 **Chapter One**

 _ **Duet to Trio**_

* * *

…

"We have a new student who has recently transferred here. You can come in now, Kisaragi-san."

"Nice… to meet you. My name is Kisaragi Kimiko."

…

The raven-haired girl surveyed her surroundings during lunch. Each table she came across were filled with students who were part of their own group. She supposed it was normal for people at school, no matter the age, to flock together with others. No spare seats were left for her to eat lunch at. She contemplated the idea of just eating outside.

Well, the weather was nice outside, and there was practically no space to eat inside so… outside it was.

Finding a comfortable spot under the tree in the shade, she sat down.

"Ah." At the sound of someone's voice, she raised her head from where she was unpacking her lunch.

Upon making eye contact with the grey-eyed, black-haired boy, she blinked as the boy blushed and flustered.

"U-umm… You were the one who saved me yesterday against the group of bullies yesterday, weren't you?"

At the lack of a reaction, he panicked even more, and Kimiko finally replied in her slightly monotone voice.

"Oh. I remember you. Kaneki Ken, right?"

He stared at her for a bit before he visibly brightened and gave a small, shy smile.

"Mn! Thank you for helping me the other day, Kisaragi-san!"

She couldn't help but give a minuscule smile of her own. She supposed she could try and be friendly for once.

"You've already said that, and you don't have to be so formal. Just call me Kimiko. Without the polite honorific."

"Then… Kimiko… chan. Umm, you can call me Ken if you want."

She nodded, indicating her acknowledgement and patted the patch of grass next to her.

"Would you like to join me?"

His smile widened as he nodded and sat down beside her.

…

"Eh? You walk this way too, Kimiko-chan?"

She nodded.

"I guess we both live in the same direction," she said.

"That's great! Maybe, from now on, we could walk home together after school."

"I wouldn't mind that." She calmly closed her eyes and enjoyed the companionable silence that followed.

…

"Well, this is where I'll be going. Looks like we go our separate ways here."

"Mn. See you tomorrow, Kimiko-chan."

"Yeah, see you."

She gave a small wave before turning at the next corner.

* * *

"Kimiko-chan, want to go the new store that's opened recently in town tomorrow? Apparently, they sell some really tasty cakes and deserts there, and my mum recently gave me some pocket money to spend."

She shrugged before closing the book she was reading and replied, "Sure, we can go. I don't really mind."

…

Her eyes sparkled as she raised the spoon and placed it in her mouth. For a moment, she thought her heart fluttered, and she gave a small sigh of bliss. This was the _best_ chocolate parfait– no, it was the _best desert_ she had ever tasted.

It was decided. She would be coming to this place as often as possible.

"Haha, Kimiko-chan really does like the deserts here," Ken laughed at her expression as he took a bite out of his own strawberry cheesecake.

Kimiko nodded happily.

…

"You're late," her father said upon seeing her return and entering from the front door.

Instantly, Kimiko's previously gained positive mood soured.

"I was out with a friend. I told okaa-san about it."

"Even if you were out with a friend, you shouldn't have gotten home this late. Hurry and sort out your school work, then meet me in the back garden. You have a lot of catching up to do with your training."

"Hai, chichi-ue."

She lowered her head and went upstairs obediently.

* * *

She felt a bit lost.

After only missing two days off school, there was suddenly a big change that happened without her knowing, and now, she wasn't sure on how she felt about that.

At first, she had felt bad about missing school because she knew that Ken would have been on his own again, but it turned out that he had made a new friend: some snot-nosed kid with eye-catching, strawberry-blonde hair.

… And they seemed to be getting along well – really well.

 _Without_ her, too.

 _Urgh_ , she withheld an urge to grimace. A pang of jealousy hit her, but she also felt a small amount of relief knowing that Ken at least had someone to be with during her absence.

It wasn't like it was her fault she had to skip some days off school. Her last training session with her father left her battered and beyond tired, and it took her a few days to recuperate. Even now, she was still feeling a bit sore, and there were fresh plasters covering cuts on her face along with bandages on her arms and legs.

"Kimiko-chan!"

"Ken." She nodded in greeting.

"You're here!"

Ken gave a smile before pausing with wide eyes.

"What happened to you?! You're covered in wounds!"

"Training," Kimiko decided to answer bluntly. She received a confused expression in return but calmly waved it off.

Walking towards the raven-haired boy, she took a seat in her usual place next to him.

"Heh, nice to meet you, Kaneki's friend. I'm Nagachika Hideyoshi, but you can just call me Hide like everyone else does."

He gave a cheerful grin and held a hand out for her.

Not taking his hand, she muttered, "Kisaragi Kimiko," before lowering her eyes back to her desk, seemingly dismissing the friendly gesture.

Nagachika's grin dimmed slightly, and Ken gave anxious glances at both of them. He didn't want his only friends to not get along well.

"W-well, Hide recently transferred here and… umm…" Ken stuttered as he struggled to think of something to say to relieve the slightly awkward atmosphere.

Seeing Ken's struggle, Kimiko's eyes softened somewhat, and she turned to face Nagachika once more.

"Nice to meet you," she muttered.

At this, Nagachika's eyes lit up once more and he gave a broad grin.

"Yeah!"

Noticing the smile that Ken was now showing, she supposed it wouldn't hurt to get along with the newly-transferred student— _intruder_ —a bit more.

* * *

"Aaah, I'm so bored! How are you two able to read books all day, Kaneki? Kimiko-chan?"

The group of three were all sat by the hillside facing the river after school. Already, Kimiko was close to taking back her previous statement of trying to get along with the orange-head and was slightly irked at how familiar Nagachika was treating her after only knowing her for a day.

… Was it because she was a girl? Oddly, Nagachika didn't call Ken by his first name—she wondered why.

She didn't mind Ken calling her that since she had known him for a while now, and she didn't like stuffy formalities to begin with so she had told him to call her by her first name. But with Nagachika, she didn't want to be particularly close to him at the moment. And with people she didn't particularly like, she had no problems being formal with.

That was the only exception.

"Eh… Umm… Then, uh..."

Ken didn't really know what to say as this was how he had always spent his time with Kimiko after school. It was almost like a ritual. Every day, they usual sat down at some place and quietly read for an hour or so before deciding to go to the park or nearby shops. Sometimes they'd just take a walk, side-by-side, wandering around aimlessly. They didn't talk a lot, but when they did, they had enjoyable conversations, and their silence was a comfortable one.

"Then what do you propose we do, Nagachika-san?" Kimiko asked, ignoring his question.

Taken aback by how formal Kimiko had addressed him, Nagachika paused before continuing and reminding her.

"Ah, Kimiko-chan, you can just call me Hide."

He smiled again. Kimiko couldn't help but wonder if he had ever stopped smiling for one moment in his life. He just seemed so cheery and outgoing all the time. In a way, he was the exact opposite to her. Hearing the informal way he was calling her again, she narrowed her eyes in faint irritation and sighed internally.

"How about we go to the parks like we always do? It might be earlier than usual, but we can also go see the new bakery that's opened up recently." Ken suggested.

"That's a good idea, Kaneki. Yosh, let's go!"

Enthusiastically, Nagachika stood and grabbed both of Ken's and Kimiko's hands and pulled them up from their seated position as he started to drag them to their destination. Words of protest were heard, but Nagachika paid them no heed as he laughed and ran.

In the end, they didn't buy anything from the bakery, and instead, they bought some ice cream. Leisurely, this time, they made their way towards the park with Nagachika chatting animatedly with them. Although, it was mostly Ken that seemed to be paying attention to what Nagachika was saying. Kimiko was busy eating away at her ice cream.

Boisterous laughter was heard, which was much louder than Nagachika's voice, and Kimiko slowly looked up, noticing a group of older elementary school kids. One of them looked vaguely familiar to Kimiko, but she couldn't quite get a grasp on why.

That exact elementary kid she was looking at found her staring at him and suddenly halted.

"You," he said rudely. "Aren't you the one that my younger brother was complaining about?"

"The one who punched your brother?" a boy standing to his right asked.

"Yeah."

 _Ah_ , she realised, belatedly. _A relative of someone I beat up_.

Not that she felt bad about it at all. All the people she had used violence against were more than likely the ones who had dared to bully Ken, or they had done something to piss her off which was more than enough of a reason for them to taste some pain.

Taking slow steps forward, he cracked his knuckles—probably to seem more intimidating than he was.

"I guess as an older brother, I can't just let this go."

A nasty grin settled on his face.

"Eh," one of them laughed. "She won't last a second against you though. It'll just seem like you're bullying them."

Well, that was insulting. They actually believed they could win.

 _Monkeys_ , she thought disdainfully. _The lot of them_.

Not one to ever back down from a fight, her eyes took a glance at them, and she counted all four of them—just in case they all decide to join in after she beats up the one known as 'the-relative-of-someone-she-had-beat-up'. And tacked on the last part: who-will-now-also-be-beaten-up.

She lowered her eyelids and commented disinterestedly, "Just one of you? Why don't all of you come at once since it won't even last more than thirty seconds."

Their faces flashed with anger all the while Ken was panicking with Nagachika blinking with wide eyes at the scene.

"Don't act all high and mighty. You're just a weak girl who'll be crying at the end of this!"

He pulled his arm back and gave a wide, sloppy swing. Ken gave a shout of surprise at this, and Nagachika gasped slightly.

Sidestepping easily to pass the amateur punch, she stuck her foot out and tripped him.

"Iwakura!" shouted one of the older kids.

Deciding that she didn't want to waste any more time with them, she taunted them in an arrogant manner by lazily smirking in the direction of the rest of the group and placed her left foot on the fallen older child's back to keep him from standing.

"That's why I said that you should have all just attacked at once. After all, you're just monkeys who haven't gone through evolution."

Of course, this only caused them to be angered further. They were all so boringly predictable.

(Pride really did cloud one's vision. Not like she had any right to say that since she was quite a prideful being herself although she blamed her father and everyone in the Kisaragi Clan for that. They all had superiority complexes and big egos.)

…

Not long after, the group of older kids were left to walk limping back home.

"Are you all right, Kimiko-chan?" Ken shouted, quickly making his way over to her side.

She waved her hand dismissively, indicating no major injuries.

Almost bewildered, Nagachika walked towards her and asked, "Do you always getting into fights like this?"

She shrugged nonchalantly in reply.

Sadly, Ken lowered his eyes to the ground, and Kimiko couldn't help but note that he looked a bit like a dejected puppy at that moment.

"I'm sorry… It's my fault. If you hadn't had to deal with the one bullying me from before then their older brother—"

"It's not your fault. I decided to give that idiot a punch in the face and I picked a fight with these guys. They were all decisions that I made alone. You don't need to apologise for anything, Ken."

She gave a small smile to reassure him.

"But anyway," Nagachika whistled, "you totally kicked their ass! You were like here, and then you moved over to here really quickly and…"

Amusement filled her eyes as she watched Nagachika energetically re-enact what had happened as Ken stood there laughing.

* * *

The first thing that happened to Kimiko when she entered her classroom a few days after was her homeroom teacher calling her name.

She followed the teacher obediently, not wanting to cause a disturbance, in the direction of what she knew was the headmaster's office. Knocking on the door, her teacher opened it after a 'come in' was heard, and they both entered.

"Headmaster, I've brought Kisaragi Kimiko."

Glancing from the closed door to the headmaster, Kimiko took note of an elderly man in a black suit with grey hair sitting in a leather chair at his desk. Sat on a couch at Kimiko's left, she saw the older elementary school kids (the ones she had encountered yesterday) glaring at her.

 _Ah_ , she figured. _So that's why I've been called_.

"Take a seat, Kisaragi-chan." The headmaster smiled kindly.

Giving a brief nod, she took a seat in the couch opposite to the older students—they still didn't deserve enough respect from her to call them 'senpai'.

"The reason I've called you here today is because of the complaints received from Iwakura-kun saying you've been using violence against him, and not only have you injured him, you've also injured his younger brother previously." The headmaster started, now adopting a stern look.

"His friends have already validated this claim here so I'm wanting to hear this from your view, Kisaragi-chan. We've refrained from contacting any parents at the moment to not cause a commotion."

At first, Kimiko was confused on why Iwakura had chosen this method to get back at her since this could easily backfire on him and his group— _lackeys—_ if she ratted them out on, as she knew, how they'd been bullying many younger students here. But then again, if she recalled correctly, his parents were important sponsors to the school, meaning he was a rich kid, and the headmaster would surely take his side no matter what she said.

She guessed it made a small amount of sense because, if he had told his parents, this would end up being more of an uproar than what was needed, and it would broadcast the fact that she had his backside handed to him by a kid who was a girl _and_ who was younger than him. It certainly wouldn't do anything good for his reputation and huge ego.

If she was seen to be the only one at fault here, she'd be suspended for a period of time (or in the worst case scenario, she'd be expelled) with her parents informed and that would be that. Then Iwakura's parents would be informed but they wouldn't need to take any action as punishment had already been given out, thus they'd be satisfied.

At the moment, it was just herself against four other kids. She was outnumbered no matter how much you looked at it. And she didn't particularly want to involve Ken or…Nagachika when they could get out of it scratch-free.

 _Jeez_ , she thought exasperatedly. _They sure didn't waste any time in getting retribution, and they can't even do it themselves._ _ **Cowards**_.

She could just admit to it and not bother explaining since there really was no point; the headteacher—this _adult—_ would definitely take Iwakura's side to stay on his parents' good grace (and to carry on having his wallet nice and fat). Sure, they could try and get her expelled, but she knew her parents would do something about it to prevent that. The worse that could happen to her would be her parents giving her another troublesome scolding and a week of a harder training schedule.

Nothing she couldn't handle.

Yeah, that's what she would do. It would require the least amount of effort from her, and she could just get back on with her life the quickest with minimal problems.

… Which was what she would have done if _they_ hadn't shown up.

A knock from the door, and the teacher from before entered with two students in tow behind her. Two students she _knew_.

"Headmaster, Kaneki-kun and Nagachika-kun have said they saw what happened also."

 _Those idiots…_

(Later, she told herself that she hadn't been touched by this at all. Her smile didn't mean anything _at all_.)

Nagachika took a step forward and started speaking before he had even been fully acknowledged.

"Headteacher, Kaneki and I were there, and what Kimiko-chan did was self-defence. They were going to punch her, and they were the ones who used violence first."

"Is that true, Kaneki-kun?" the headteacher asked.

"Hai," Ken nodded nervously.

(He never was good at dealing with so many people at once, but he was doing it for Kimiko-chan's sake so he needed to be strong.)

Not that she didn't appreciate the help, but they did just make things more complicated for her. Now she didn't really know whether to just admit to having used violence and waste their all efforts at trying to stick up for her, or just go with it for now. She sighed internally. She really did hate things as troublesome as this.

"And not only that," Nagachika continued. "But I've seen Iwakura-san and his group always bullying the others. I can even tell you the name of all the ones that have been bullied before."

Now, _that_ was different. He'd just involved many other students into this as well, and individually, the ones that had been bullied couldn't have done anything, but if word got out to all of their parents _together_ , that would be a different story.

Over the past few days, she had realised how popular Nagachika was and how easily he got along with everyone so she knew, that if he tried, he could easily rally all the ones who had been bullied onto his side. He was just the type who could converse with anyone effortlessly and become friends with them quite quickly. _Must be that honest smile he seems to have and the easy-going personality_ , Kimiko thought.

(He was the type who attracted all sorts of people to him and… accepted them.)

"T-that… That's not true!" Iwakura jumped up from his seat and exclaimed.

The headmaster frowned.

"It's not good to lie, Iwakura-kun. This time I won't be telling your parents about this, but if something like this happens again next time, I'll be forced to take action."

Kimiko couldn't help but let out a sardonic smirk. It was amusing how Iwakura's plans didn't work out in his favour.

Of course, Iwakura wasn't going to be punished, but Kimiko also got away untouched and without any problems. This meant that all of Iwakura's efforts had gone to waste. It was a good enough outcome in her books.

And he seemed to be fairly humiliated which was a nice bonus.

* * *

"That was reckless… what you two did back there."

"But we couldn't have just left you, Kimiko-chan!" Ken argued.

Kimiko averted her eyes when she felt warmth bubbling in her chest.

"They would have easily dragged you both into it and put some blame onto you as well. You're both idiots," she continued to scold.

Unlikely since Nagachika would have had everyone else in the year to support him, but she needed a reason to call him an idiot… and to divert their attention from how flustered she was. She didn't want them to see how much his words had affected her.

(To her, it seemed like a weakness… this fond feeling. She wasn't quite sure if she was comfortable enough to show it to them—or anyone—yet.)

"How did you guys even know I was there anyway? I'm pretty sure you were late today."

"Ah, Hide saw you being taken away from the teacher as he came into school and told me about it." Ken answered.

"Heh," Nagachika grinned, almost a bit sheepishly. "I did a bit of eavesdropping, and it didn't sound so good so I thought it'd be better if we intervened…"

"And also," he continued, "friends don't abandon each other!"

 _Friends…_

A curtain of hair shadowed her eyes as she tried to hide her face; she didn't want them to see how red her face surely was due to how she couldn't contain her happiness and embarrassment. But seeing the joyful grins on their faces, she knew that she hadn't managed to hide it from them.

"Thank you… Ken, Nagachika-san." She said sincerely.

"Ah, how many times do I have to tell you? Just call me Hide!"

She blinked several times before saying, "Hide."

"Finally!" He gave a bright grin.

"… The idiot."

She couldn't help but want to poke some fun at him. It was a bit of a (petty) revenge for how annoying he had been with how he always interrupted the peaceful quiet, and she had been wanting to call him that for a while anyway.

"E-eh?!"

Hideyoshi's grin faltered as his expression looked a bit like a deer caught in headlights, and Ken was quietly laughing on his right.

(His face looked quite funny at that moment, and Kimiko could barely manage to hold in a teasing grin.)

"Aa, from now on you'll be called Baka-Hide. You don't mind, do you?"

"W-what?"

"I see. Well, that's good. Let's go back to class then, Ken. Baka-Hide."

"Just wait a second! And stop laughing, Kaneki! Help me tell her to stop!"

Laughter echoed throughout the school hallway, and it didn't just belong to one person.

* * *

...

* * *

 **A/N:**

Last re-upload ever! I promise! Only fresh content from here on out!

Anyways xD for those who have never read this, enjoy.

Hopefully I'll have this all completed one day... I actually do have everything planned out (I had it all come together like after watching first season of the anime).

It's just that... oddly enough... What I had planned out is kinda similar to what the mangaka has done... and I had not read a SINGLE chapter of the manga at all at the time... so... haha...

Great minds do think alike, eh xD ... Ahah... hah...

Or was it just that predictable a plot idea?

... T.T *cry* Hopefully you guys will still enjoy it. I swear to god I didn't mean to plan ideas that are similar... Maybe... I'll just scrap the whole thing... Who knows.

I'll need to read the whole manga first, I think.


	3. Chapter 2

I don't own Tokyo Ghoul.

 **Warning** **:** Umm... spoiler if you haven't read the manga? I actually read this spoiler on wiki by accident (when I should've known better) even though I haven't even gotten past like chapter 56 :'D I really do need to finish reading the manga lol.

* * *

 **Chapter Two**

 _ **In Which the Light Begins to Dim**_

* * *

…

 _'It was better to be hurt than to hurt others.'_

 _._

 _._

Kimiko liked Ken's mum; she was kind and gentle (so much unlike hers), worked hard for her son and took care of him well.

She was a good mother—the one who brought Ken up to be just as kind and as gentle as she was to this day. Even though she had to do more work than the average family, being a single mother, she never complained.

In a way, Kimiko admired that honest and tender-hearted personality, and she was happy for Ken—for having such a loving family.

But sometimes Ken's mum was _too_ kind—so much that it was almost self-sacrificing. That's why, a small part of her hated how caring Ken's mother got.

Kimiko didn't want that self-sacrificing part of her to be taught to Ken. She didn't want him to think that way. If Ken wasn't willing to hurt others, and would rather be hurt by them instead, then she would do it in his place.

She would protect him.

 _(He was her flickering light in the days dyed in monochrome.)_

* * *

From time to time, she dreamt: of memories that should not belong to her, of a girl who was much weaker— _so much more fragile_ —and of a girl who was so different from her. She humoured the notion for a fleeting moment that she was possibly going insane, but the clarity of such dreams made it seem unlikely, along with how she was always able to recall what happened in the dreams after waking up. But as time passed, and the dreams becoming more frequent making it seem like she was reliving another life (a _past_ life, she thought— _realised_ ) and that those memories really did belong to her.

A previous life where ghouls did not exist. A previous life where she did not have to train every day because of her parents. A previous life where she came closest to deceiving herself into believing she was cared for.

 _(The words of a dead man flashed by the forefront of her mind:_

' _We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone.')_

It would've been a _normal_ life.

She sat up in her bed, sweat dripping from her forehead with the last dream being how she came upon taking her last breath in that world. Slowly, she brought her knees up to her chest and wrapped her quivering arms around them. Closing her eyes, she took deep breaths to calm her beating heart.

Phantom images flickered in her mind beneath closed eyes, and she wondered if she had ever felt fear as strong as this before. Gradually, her tense shoulders loosened, and her body relaxed to fall back onto her bed. Her breathing slowed, and in the silence of her room, a thought struck her, gradually spreading like a poison in her mind…

 _I don't want to die._

 _(_ _Not again_ _.)_

But with the way things were heading, she would be forced to become a ghoul investigator against her wishes, and she knew the career had a relation as to why the number of relatives she had decreased day by day even though they were still so young.

Unbidden tears starting building up in her eyes, and she hastily wiped them away. It felt so weird crying so easily when mentally she should be double the current age of her physical body of nine. But then again, the memories from the dreams felt like they were still so foreign in a way, and at times, it seemed like she was watching clips from a movie.

 _(It would be—not easy but_ possible _to maybe trick herself that there was no past life if she wanted.)_

Though the fact that she was also a cry baby in said past life, even in her late teens, probably didn't help deter the tears either.

Exhausted physically and mentally, she easily slipped into unawareness as she fell asleep—the last tears slipping from her eyes. She was such a cry baby, and she _hated_ it.

(She really wasn't as strong as she acted.)

* * *

Months passed and the monotonous days stacked up, but within those plain and plentiful days, Ken provided some colour and light for Kimiko. (She reluctantly admitted that baka-Hide contributed some as well).

It was enough to help sooth leftover wounds.

Her birthday passed without much excitement, though Ken and Hideyoshi did try to liven things up. They pooled their pocket money together to buy a chain-like bracelet with a variety of trinkets attached to it, and she knew to treasure it. Hideyoshi's birthday had already passed not long before he transferred to their school, and this time, Ken's tenth birthday was approaching.

"Would you guys like to come over to my house for my birthday?" Ken asked, smiling a tad shyly.

"Sure, Kaneki! Well, we were gonna have a birthday party planned for you no matter what, anyway. Right, Kimiko-chan?" Hideyoshi replied cheerfully.

Kimiko nodded and then directed a small smile at Ken.

"I'll be sure to be there, Ken. Definitely."

He smiled brightly in response.

* * *

 _Shlump._

"Again, Ken?" Kimiko said, voice tinged with amusement and fond exasperation.

"Hahah…" Kaneki laughed from his position on the floor after having tripped and rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.

"That's the third time you've fallen over today. You're so clumsy."

"Sorry…" Kaneki said.

"Mou, you don't have to apologise."

As he moved to stand up, she held her hand out to him.

"Here," she said.

Kaneki blinked once before he smiled and gratefully took the offered hand. She pulled him up effortlessly but didn't let go even after he stood up. He gave Kimiko a questioning look.

"The next time you fall down, I'll be able to pull you back up so you won't fall over and hurt yourself again." She gave him a slight smile when there was a slight dusting of pink on his cheeks. "Saa, let's go."

 _(_ _No matter how many times you fall down, I'll help you get back up… because that's what friends do, right?_ _)_

* * *

"Happy birthday!"

The sound of a group of collective voices said as many party poppers were pulled.

Kimiko gave a small smile as she watched Ken's eyes brighten in joy. There weren't many people celebrating his birthday—only her, Hideyoshi and Ken's mother. And yet, for Ken, he smiled like he was given something close to the world.

She supposed, to Ken, this was enough for him— _they_ were enough.

(At least… she'd like to think—to _hope_ that was the case.)

"I'll help, Kaneki-san." Kimiko walked up to Ken's mother and grabbed hold of a few plates and cutlery to give out after cutting the cake. They'd already sang 'Happy Birthday' to Ken and the candles had been blown out with a wish made.

(Ken had raised his head, staring at them for a while, giving a smile—a secret smile—before the candlelight was extinguished.)

"Ah, thank you, Kimiko-chan. And please, call me oba-san or Chiyo. There's no need to be so formal." She reached her hand out to pat Kimiko's head.

Her hand felt warm.

(…And yet—)

"You are Ken's important friends after all," she said.

"Okay… oba-san," Kimiko replied.

* * *

They were walking along the path besides the riverbank towards the sweetshops after school that they had promised to visit earlier on in the day. Kimiko's parents wouldn't be returning home until the day after tomorrow so she had free reign on what she could do without her parents finding out.

As they approached the midway point to their destination, Ken abruptly stopped walking, staring at something in the distance. Underneath a bridge were a group of boys or rather two groups fighting each other. It was Iwakura and the rest, and they seemed to be on the losing side.

Of course, Kimiko had noticed them. She had noticed them much earlier than Ken had but had barely spared them anything more than a dismissive glance.

They didn't mean anything to her. They weren't one of her precious people. She had no obligation to help them nor did she need to spend any time on them. So she had turned her head and carried on walking forward, and like any insignificant moment in her life, they'd be forgotten after a night's sleep.

But Ken didn't seem to think so.

"Ken, hurry up. They're going to close up the store in an hour or so, and there's a few of their new desserts I want to try."

Hideyoshi had stopped walking not long after Ken had. His eyes switched from looking at Ken to Kimiko, unsure as to what to do next.

Kimiko kept her expression neutral, head facing forward and didn't stop walking.

"Kimiko-chan, they're—"

"Just leave them. Whatever they're doing has nothing to do with us," Kimiko said coldly, still not turning her head to look at them, face blank.

Ken's expression turned sad as he watched the group of boys being knocked down to the ground, unable to retaliate. It was true that they'd bullied him quite a few times, but no one deserved to be in pain no matter what they'd done. He still remembered the feeling of helplessness and powerlessness whenever he was no longer able to get up in the wake of the pain caused by his tormentors—always, they reminded him of his inability to do the things that really mattered.

So in a moment of determination and resolution, he took a step forward.

"I'm sorry, Kimiko-chan. Hide. Go on without me." Ken said as he walked towards Iwakura and the group of boys.

Kimiko's heart lurched in her chest as she abruptly stopped and snapped her head towards him, watching him go.

 _Why—_

Her hand shot out, thankfully reaching him in time, grabbing ahold of his hand, and an almost desperate glint entered her eyes.

 _._

 _._

 _'It was better to be hurt than to hurt others.'_

 _One day, because of those words, Ken will be hurt the most._

 _Why do you have to be so forgiving?_

.

.

Ken was always kind.

* * *

She clicked a tongue against the roof of her mouth and said, "Tsk, the one you should be thanking is Ken. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have even considered saving some jerks like you." She looked down on them with an icy glare before turning away.

.

.

 _Ken is always kind._

 _(That's why–)_

…

"Thank you, Kimiko-chan… for helping them." His eyes lifted to meet hers, a smile forming on his lips before he froze, his expression turning uncertain.

She gave a small, pained smile—eyes looking so sad—and said:

"You're so unfair, Ken."

* * *

"What's wrong, Ken?"

"Ah, it's just my auntie…"

Her eyes narrowed.

"Again? And did Kaneki-san give money to her again?" she asked.

He nodded his head.

"I could ask my parents to—"

"No! It's okay, Kimiko-chan. I… I don't want to bother you." Ken said, slightly flustered, hands waving in front of his face.

Her eyes softened.

"You know that I will never think of you as bothersome. I wouldn't mind."

"Still," he shook his head. "You already have a strained relationship with your parents…"

As he lowered his arms, she caught a glimpse of something bluish-purple beneath his sleeve, and she tensed slightly in alarm.

"Ken," she said, voice serious and lips pressed together in a thin line. "Where did you get this?"

She reached out without warning, taking hold of his arm, gently yet firmly, and pushed back the sleeve on his arm to reveal a large dark bruise. Unintentionally, she took a sharp intake of breath when she saw his whole arm.

It looked so much worse than she thought it would be.

"Who _did_ this?" her voice barely suppressing a tremble, anger bubbling and beginning to boil in her chest at a rapid rate.

Ken looked like a deer caught in headlights as he stared at Kimiko, unsure on what to do.

"It… It's nothing. I just fell…" was his reply. It sounded as unconvincing as his voice.

It was an obvious lie. The bruise on his arm—it stared back at her mockingly, telling her and reminding her of her failure in protecting him like she said she would— _like she had promised she would_.

It had been done by someone on purpose. There's no way he could have gotten a bruise like that from a fall. From his lie, she wondered if he was hiding any other injuries. And then thought bitterly, _he probably was._

She had dealt with all the bullies—she was absolutely sure.

That only left…

"Was it your aunt?" she nearly growled out.

"E-eh? No! It wasn't my aunt! It wasn't my aunt…" His eyes clenched shut like he was in pain, and he tried pulling his arm away.

(She let him.)

Seeing the hurt and distress on his face— _she swore she would make the ones who hurt Ken pay and regret that they'd done such a thing—_ she let the matter drop for now.

.

.

(She shouldn't have.)

.

She broke another promise that day. After all, the dead couldn't regret, could they?

Later on, she came to realise this.

.

.

.

.

 _Why?_

As the rained poured, that was one of the many words that kept repeating in her mind.

 _Where was the fairness in this?!_

She stood by his side and clutched onto his hand tightly to give some comfort—no matter how small it was.

 _And she couldn't—_ hadn't _done a single thing to help!_

The rain stopped.

 _(Drip._

…

 _Drop.)_

Looking towards her right, she couldn't tell how Ken was feeling from his unreadable expression, hair shadowing his face.

Nonetheless, she knew he was in pain—so much that she could never imagine.

 _Why did someone so kind have to die?_

.

.

(See… this is what happens to the ones who are too kind.)

…

 _She didn't want Ken to end up this way too._

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _A loving mother._

 _Forever remembered._

 _Kaneki Chiyo_

 _1970 – 2003_

* * *

He was suffering, she knew that. Slowly, she moved her hand to place on his shoulder, but before it reached, she paused and then retreated. She turned to walk away, and with one last back glance, she noticed Hideyoshi succeeding in where she failed when a small smile formed upon Ken's face.

That's right—Ken didn't need her. Hideyoshi was the cheerful and bright one who would be able to make him happy again.

Hideyoshi who was so much different from her.

Eyes lowered to the ground—an action she recently seemed to do unconsciously a lot more.

She couldn't do anything.

* * *

Hideyoshi's voice repeated in her head over and over like a never-ending loop. She hadn't known…

 _She_ hadn't _known!_

She hadn't known that the one causing Ken so much pain had been so close. She thought…

She thought but knew _nothing_.

"He didn't want to worry you," Hideyoshi had said.

He had known—Hideyoshi had known and yet she hadn't.

 _(She was the only one left in the dark._

 _She was the only one left playing the fool.)_

Ken was so close to her all the time, and yet she hadn't noticed that his own mother had been—

Did she crave and wish for the love of a mother so much that she couldn't see through the façade—that she _made_ her own illusion of a caring mother in the place of Ken's mother?

Was she _that_ _blind_?

How could parents so easily damn their own child?

.

.

.

…

 _(She begins to doubt.)_

* * *

Another month passed. She didn't know whether if Ken had healed, or he was feeling numbness and faking the act that he was fine.

She decided on the latter and lowered her head.

"Ne, Kimiko. What do you want to be when you grow older?" Hideyoshi asked, and Ken looked at her, blinking inquisitively.

"It's obvious, isn't it? I'm going to be a ghoul investigator."

"Yeah… but that's not what you _want_ to be, right?"

She paused, heart stuttering in her chest as she thought and _wished_ for what she could not have. What she wanted… Eyes shadowed by a curtain of hair, she opened her mouth to speak.

"I…"– _have nothing–_ "have a lot of things I don't want to do, but I don't have anything in particular that I want to do."

.

.

.

 _What do I have?_

.

.

* * *

...

* * *

 **A/N:**

The quote:

" _We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone._ "—by Orson Welles.

Hey, it's been a while xD hahah... I'm sorry. I have no excuses? Other than a jaw surgery and being miserable during my first year of university. I actually started writing this on 1st April (hah! April Fools!), and I just finished writing the whole thing a few days ago. I know right. Such _fast_ progress! (I bet the sarcasm is overflowing xD) Then I just finished editing it today whilst listening to White Silence (mmm... that song. I definitely recommend it to people who enjoy TK from Ling Tosite Sigure as he's the artist).

Hahah... for those who started reading this fanfic on my previous account, I published this in like December 2014 I think. Wow, 3 chapters in 2 years? You're so amazing, Chia! WOW! ...

*Kowtows* Sorry. I'm a disappointment. I know. I'll try harder from now on... but no promises! :D

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed! (less than 3 - because apparently fanfiction doesn't allow you to type that on here.)


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